Trying to stay positive in the face of a long slog of internet dating. I've had a lot of sometimes good, sometimes interesting first dates, not a lot of second dates, sometimes my choice, sometimes his. It's tough to find someone you really click with, and you can't tell from a profile. The best we can do is email a few times, then meet up to see if we have great conversation and the time seems to fly by and we can't wait to see each other again, or if we struggle to find things to talk about and call it a night early. Seems like it's usually one or other.
About me: I'm fairly attractive, smart, funny, fun, active, fit, and charming, on my good days. As an introvert, I can tell pretty quickly if you're someone I can relax and rest around, or if being around you is an effort and by the end of the night I'm exhausted. I'm looking for the former. I'm trying to think about what makes me different, not what's 99% the same as every profile on here, i.e. I like to travel, I like TV and movies and eating out, I like to dress up and also wear shorts and a tshirt, etc. etc. That's most of us. What makes me, or you, different, in a way that we might have in common?
Things that will either make me the perfect girl for you, or rule me out, I think:
- I have dogs. I always will, they're just good for the soul. My dogs have been with me their whole lives, and now they're 13 and 14. I have to make sure they eat and go to the bathroom and help with either if they need it. It's so tough, but this is where I am in life, or I guess I should say in their lives. If you'd never bother with something like that, then you don't need to read any further.
- I'm fairly active, I hike a lot (although not as much now that the dogs can't hike with me), like bikram yoga, and also run a lot, I'm working on marathons in all 50 states, 31 done so far. I like to travel, just like everyone on this site seems to, but to be honest, I've mostly traveled to marathons the last year or so. I want to change that. I own an RV and want to take more road trips, I want to get some stamps in my just-renewed passport. But I've found that while traveling alone does have it perks, it would be so much more fun to go with someone. Looking for a travel partner to go somewhere? Hit me up, I might be interested!
- I read a lot. A lot. I want to be a librarian when I grow up. I read almost entirely fiction, mostly sci-fi and fantasy, but some mystery, or literary fiction. You don't have to be a huge reader, but it would be neat to date someone who at least gets that. I'm not really into music. I go whole weeks and don't really listen to any, except in passing, because I'm usually listening to an audiobook. For the guys whose whole profile description is bands they've seen and clubs they hang out at, that's how I feel about books so I get it, but I don't feel that way about music. I don't like staying up late listening to music so loud we have to scream over it and that makes our ears ring for two days. So if you do, you're probably a great guy, but we probably won't make each other happy.
- I'm a vegetarian, because I can live just fine without me or my dollars being responsible for killing anything, and our food production system is atrocious. Again, you don't have to be, but it would be neat to date someone who understands and accepts how I feel. No, it doesn't bother me if you eat meat in front of me, and I won't try to recruit you to the cause. But someone for whom meat is 99.9% of their diet, for whom the thought of going out to a meal that does not involve some type of meat is simply inconceivable, who enjoys hunting and fishing regularly, again, I'm not saying you're a bad person, you be you! I'm saying our lifestyles are probably not complimentary.
- I live in Alexandria, Kingstowne area. I don't really want to date someone who lives an hour or more away. And really, even 10 miles can be an hour in the DMV, amiright?!? It's hard to date someone who's not fairly close, and I know because I've tried. I want to find someone I can spend time with in the evenings after work, and stay overnight with, and be around without a solid investment of car time for one of us every single time we see each other.
- I will not always live in Alexandria. I have lived all over after 21 years in the military, and I like trying new places. I have at least one more move in me (probably two) because it will be expensive to live here after I'm no longer in the military and don't get paid to do it. I don't know yet where I want to settle down. I'm open to possibilities. We'll discuss it. Let's wait until date 3 or after, though, ok? :)
- I have dated a few guys with kids, and it's never ended well. I'd rather date someone who doesn't have any. I'm not 100% ruling it out, no. But 98%.
- I do not want to date someone who is legallly married to someone else, regardless how complicated divorce laws are, or how long your marriage "has been over in your heart" - if you're seperated, I'm not interested. Double that if you're in any kind of "open relationship." If that works for you both, great, I'm happy for you. It does not work for me.
- I don't want to date (or more accurately, screw) anyone younger than late 30's at best. I know none of the 23-year-olds who constantly spam my inbox asking if I'm a cougar will have read this far, so this is probably useless, but no, I don't want to f*** you, please just leave me alone, you're not a sexy young stud, you're a creep.
- I get that for most guys, this is a numbers game. You cut and paste either "UR beautiful" or "Great eyes" or "Hey there" into a hundred inboxes a night, or shoot now you hit the flirt button which does the same, and if one woman responds, that's 30 minutes well spent. Honestly, it doesn't matter to me if you write a whole paragraph when it's all generic and you're still just cutting and pasting. If you're interested in me, it's obvious in even just a couple sentences. If you're playing the numbers, also obvious. And you most likely won't get an answer from me. I'm looking for something a little deeper. Best of luck to you though.
Well that turned into a novel that went dark pretty quickly. :) I'm really looking for someone to laugh with and talk with, spend time with, whether it's outings to the Wolf Trap, a day playing hooky from work going skiing somewhere, a weekend road trip to see the wild horses on Assateague Island, walking the dogs in the park, or a good solid hour of grocery shopping or doing laundry and cleaning house. With the right person, all of these can be enjoyable. Let's see if we can't find each other, shall we?